I am not suicidal but if i knew my life would end soon, I would be ok with it. I wish you better days and be glad you experienced a great love. I am grateful. Plis…my husband passed away at the beginning of this year from brain tumor after being together for almost one mnth …now his gone and its the second mnth…its just hurts and a headache and making me cry all nite…i dnt know wat to do.. I lost my husband 5 months ago we were married r5 yrs.
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I am in a grievance class hoping it will help. One thing is I have to learn to live with is the new normal. I do what I have to do in the house the rest of the time I lay in my bed. At 71 I am sure it will be a hard until I leave this world. I pray all of you that God will wrap his arms around you. Yes, my husband just dropped dead at the gym nearly one year ago to the day. Where did that year go? And then I start crying uncontrollably. I am numb and hopeless since I lost my beloved soul mate and husband of 31 years.
I can barely function and go on. Every day is a challenge just to get through it. I am beyond broken and I am into the second year and it is so much worse than the first for all the reasons mentioned by the write of this article and all the things you say are true. Hi my friend. My spouse passed away a limitless more than year ago. He was so caring , so sweet man. I miss him deeply. I try to stay very busy. That helps. But I wish he will come back …. He was 45 when he passed I was We were married for 13 years. But tied together since day one. And that was how it really was. I have maintained same treatment for 1 year longer than we were together.
Then my husband. I can barely cope. He was diagnosed with GBS syndrome. But was suppose to be ok. He spent 2 months in hospitals. I watched him wither away. But Istill had hope. However he ended up with 3 stage ulcers. Told us he had stage 4 lung cancer. I left the day they told me my husband was dying g to get my two young adult children. On the way to get my daughter and son. My husband died after autopsy report. After I took him off life support. Of a UTI infection.
So in my head all I know is they were wrong. And I took him of life support. I totally understand, I also had to make this decision 2 years ago for my baby sister who I was caregiver of. I loved her so very much and nothing in life has hurt as bad as losing her and the feelings of guilt and believing I murdered her no matter what anyone says. And now guilt because of some things I am doing. Such as giving a lot of her things away, doing things I enjoy and now because I have decided to move to Washington, which I currently live in Ft Worth Texas. So it is a major move, but I am waiting until the end of the year or beginning to make sure it is for the right reasons.
I had simething similar happening to me. He had to disconnected his machine after he fought 42 days in the ICU. He had lost all his motor skills but not his brain and had 2 holes in his brain. The irony is he looked at me crying while I hold him and kiss his last breath. He was my everything. And nothing helps, no praying no counseling the kids are far. I just want him back. I cannot go grocery shopping or I cry when I see his food. The pain is unbearable.. I have lost all my strength without him. I just want to be with him.
June 24th will be 2 yrs sine my husband died. After being with him for over half my life. I dont have no desire to date. And i can relate with you. It still hurts and i wish it didnt. This is by far the worse loss i have experienced. My heart goes out to all of you. This is my second year and I am having the same thoughts. My mind keeps going over all of the treatments and hospital stays and all the hopes we had of him getting better of no avail. But the grieving does not last all day but while it going on its intense. I truly am because we as grievers know that loss is not the complete word.
Take care of yourself. Thanks to all that spoke about their feelings of a great loss. Very first time I laid my eyes on my bf I was in love. Sounds crazy right. We were together for 3 years every day n night. Imagine how he felt. Dr was right December 10, he passed. One year I cried n cried. How do I pick myself up. I find that if I force myself, my anxiety goes way up. I also did acupuncture in the ears to help with the grief. That was a good process because it helped me to HOPE that my grief would abate. After all, without hope and faith, what do we have? Ann Marie it gets better slowly.
Remember the good times and know he would want you to live on and be happy. Plant a tree a Leland cypress and watch your love grow and remember him in nature. My 21 year old daughter was diagnosed with leukemia and died 14 days later from a brain hemorrhage resulting from the chemo treatment. That was September I became numb, I spent the next 2 years struggling with the loss. In something started to affect my wife of 32 years. We struggled to get answers until she was diagnosed with an extremely rare brain disease. She forgot who I was on Christmas Day She steadily lost the ability control her body, then the ability to speak.
One day in a moment of clarity she told me how her mind was working, well kind of. Told me of the hallucinations and her mind was telling her I was cheating, so far from the truth. She lost her battle in May I was her care giver had to subdue all my feelings of pain. My Wife, best friend, confidant, solemate is gone.
While we may be by ourselves we are never truly alone, I feel your pain and now you know mine. I feel so sad reading your story. I hope you learn to cope with this terrible grief, I hope you have people who are kind and stay around you. My husband died in Feb 18 after 3 years struggle with multiple system atrophy.
I feel totally broken, and none of my friends understand, they just get in with their lives in a way I can never do again. I lost my Dad in February of He had pancreatic cancer, and had 9 months to live after his diagnosis. The cancer was already in his liver when they found it, so all that could be done is chemo to give him a little more time. My wife and I divorced about a year after he passed. I feel so alone and just want to go home to him. He was only 53 when he passed. God bless you all.
Hello Robert. I have just come across your letter and I am sorry for your lost as well. I lost my wife on December to cancer. Wish I was with my wife really. I feel so sorry that my wife had so much pain to go though and nothing could save her life. Everything seems pointless now after being married for 44 years and now sitting alone.
I feel the same. I want to be with my Harry. He passed on January 28, I cry everyday. We lived together 47 years and were married for We talked about everything. Thank you for letting me know I am not alone. My husband passed away two years ago Sat. He died in his sleep. He was my life. After being married 53 years I just have no idea what to do without him. What am I suppose to do now? What did the doctors miss? What signs did I miss that I should have picked up on? My story is very much like yours.
It all seems pointless. I agree with you and everything you are saying. I lost my beautiful wife of 40 years. We married at age My wife and I where always together. She was my best friend, soul mate my everything. She battled stage cancer for fourteen years. I lost my beloved wife April 4th of She would not let it beat her. The last two year was hell on her. With over 18 stays in the hospital and 29 procedures to keep her liver going.
In March of this year, she said to me on are way to the hospital. March 27th of this year she was placed on hospice. She made it 7days. My world has been turned upside down. I pray everyday for the lord to take me. I try to be positive and move forward. I keep thinking why! I stay positive for my kids and grandkids. But the pain is almost over bearing. I miss her so bad. I go to the grave site daily. My prayers are to hopefully things will get easier.
Calvin, I too lost the love of my life after 47yrs of marriage. Take each day at a time, pray and thank God for the time he gave you with her. My husband lived only 6mos after drs found CNS lymphoma in his brain. The heavy chemo treatments, drs appts, etc left me so overwhelmed at the end. He died in hospice and seeing him in a comma 9 days, and finally passing on still plays in my mind. I keep busy volunteering, taking line dancing class and helping with my granddaughters. I sold our acreage in Iowa and moved to Oklahoma to be close to them.
This past year has brought many changes, however, am taking one day at a time. I thank God daily for having given me 47yrs with such a great man. Good luck!
Your story is so touching. Thank you for sharing. I lost my husband August 22nd and I too visit the grave site nearly every day, and pray to God to let me be with my love. I continue to struggle with that every single day. I too no longer have a purpose, no longer care about life or myself. I feel useless and empty. I wish Good would hear my prayers and take me away. I lost my bf jan After four years later I am now dealing with unresolved grief as well. The first year was the hardest woke up crying and fell asleep crying. The third year I thought everything was fine. I hid from my emotions, thought I was in love again.
Was just trying to forget my past and start over again a fresh start but all that came down hill when I was in college and had a panic attacked in one class realizing that it was time for me to deal with the truth. The truth that I was hurt and have been hurt for a while. All this time I felt hopeless, guilty, sad, mad, upset, confused, tired, but more than anything miserable.
I was only 19 when he passed away. I am now 23 and I can assure you that the pain never goes away. Much love everyone. I lost my husband and best friend Aug. We were married 47 years. He never smoked but had to have a lung transplant. He was doing well until a infection set in eventually going to his brain. He had 3 brain surgeries to help with inflammation and to kill the infection out. I was with him everyday and night for a month during transplant and then nine month later he went in with the infection and I stayed with him five days and nights. He passed fifteen days after our 47th Anniversary.
I do have support from family and friends but still feel so all alone. I really just hate living now. The sadness is overwhelming. We did everything together. Barbara- I hear and feel you loud and clear. We had no idea-didnt see the signs and Drs did not find things or look in right places. Regardless she of 37 years marriage and 6 years of love prior is gone and so was I actually the day of diagnosis in June. That was when I died- I ask of God the same- Why leave me? Take me its over no matter how I try-I no longer have zest for life at she was No matter what and how I try nothing really matters.
I am a shell of what I was to never return to the happy go lucky-good guy I was because of my wife. I am lost and have no confidence anymore. I do daily things to get by but just want to go to sleep and hope I dont wake up. Why is God so cruel? I read about so many gone within a few months after losing their spouse and think how lucky they are! That is the way to go- not go on day after day in torture and remorse suffering a lonely death of your own soul. I too want it to end. I am fine with it- I would welcome it- My time and work here is now done.
To survive is just being alive- I am not living. I havent lived since the diagnosis last June. Sadly you and I are far from alone. I definitely understand more then words can express. Next month is a two year mark that I lossed my only child, my little girl. I was ok for awhile but all the sudden its hitting me like a brick wall. I feel like time has stopped as I am in a complete never ending story of several emotions at one time.
But mostly hurt and emptyness. Doctors once said I would never be able to conceive. Then she was born. She died at the age of six from a 1 in a million chance disorder called fires. No warning no leading up to illness. She fought for her life for thirty days. I left the hospital without my child and a shirt with all her blood on it. It was a rough year. I would do anything to hear the words mommy. I wish the pain would just be more kind. Oh precious fellow travellers. I lost my firstborn precious child, my 10 year old son a few days away from 14 months ago.
Still no cause has been found. My Lukie died in his sleep in his bed at home. My then 7 year old daughter found him first. He had been dead over 10 hours so what we found was brutal, excruciating. The first year was mostly like a in shock, autopilot, anxiety driven adrenaline survival mode. This second year is so hard in a different non-surreal way. Love and understanding yo all of us. I will keep you in my prayers. I lost my 2 boys 2 years ago mike 37 april 20, and chris september 20, this year seeme like the shock and realization is comig back, My heart aches.
My mom passed away July , 6 months later my boyfriend passed in January I hate my life and wish to die daily. Robert, I totally sympathize with the unresolved grief. I lost my mother and I was her caregiver in early basically congenital heart failure, but she fail on what I consider a good day for her and never recovered and passed away the next day.
And exactly one year later, her mother passed away due to heart failure. Grief in year 2 for my mother which is very difficult, and is equally difficult grieving for my gr-mother. Those are two very different relationships but the loss is felt for both. I lost my father some years ago and that took a while to resolve, so I am praying that the process of grief will become eased soon. I pray the memories of her life will last forever. I hope that your grief process will ease very soon for you.
I lost my mum very suddenly on the 18 January I have have no words to describe the pain, anybody that is reading this, is reading for a reason, because sadly we are all grieving. My heart goes out to you all. I lost my mum very unexpectedly and suddenly on the 27th october Still in a trance i suppose on autopilot she was only I feel your pain.. I cry everyday for my friend.. I am just into my second year and the intensity of grieving seems to have increased. The other daughter from another marriage and she gave us three beautiful grandchildren Tyler 16 Dominic is turning in today and beautiful Savannah who just turned 3 every time I spend time with those children and I see.
I too, lost my beloved husband two years ago. We were married for 55 years and planned on living to the age of 90 and then we would be ready for God to call us home when he wanted to. Sadly, at my request my Don went down and got the shingle shot and three weeks later his feet were tingling, he was weak and could barely walk. It was discovered that he had Guianne Barre disease that has been proven to be caused by this shot. He was in and out of the hospital for months and then a small mass was found on his lung.
He had cancer. I am beyond guilty because I was the one to ask him to get the shot and it was because of me that he had been so weakened by that rare disease. I will forever hate myself. Don fought so hard with what strength that he had but cancer took him from me. He died in my arms. I am having a horrible time with not having him and I do not know if I will ever be free of my horrible grief. I am very bitter Had a letter from Hospital admitting neglect but I havnt got my Husband the love of my life, I am struggling to get on with my life but its so hard as it is for everyone on this forum, We no longer live we exist, Pam xx.
Pam and Holly- Yes exactly — we simply and sadly exist. My wife and I too figured mids at least. I just retired early at 64 — we bought a retirement home to be near daughter and grandchild. After 37 years of marriage-we finally found our dream home and had no financial issues for first time in our lives. It was now our turn to enjoy life-she me So much ahead-so many great plans.
All destroyed by diagnosis of lung spread to brain cancer just 2 days before our 2nd daughters wedding. Yes we exist- I endlessly question why? I never get a reply. I worry this may go on too long.
- Grief Isn't Something to Get Over | Psychology Today!
- The Secret in Bladham Wood;
- 12 Insights into Grieving After the Death of Your Loved One.
My God what if I do get into those 80s? Now without her? I dont want it and I envy those who die soon after their loved spouse passes. How so fortunate they are not to go on. All I can say is my best to you and sadly we are not alone in our thoughts.follow
Helping yourself through grief when IVF cycles fail - real life story - Access Fertility France
It has been two and half years for me and it is not getting better some days I think it is getting worse. I wish it would get better and I could smile again, just a simple smile once in awhile. I am about 17 months out. It is different now, but not easier. I am still hoping beyond hope and beyond reality, that Jill will magically be real again, here, in the whole, in my arms, and next to me in bed at night and in the morning.
I feel the same way about Clay. He has been gone for 15 months. I keep thinking if I pray hard enough, wish hard enough and love hard enough, he will come back to me. I want to hear the sound of his voice, feel his arms around me, kiss me and tell me he loves me. I feel your pain every moment of every day. My Bill was my soulmate, best friend, husband and the love of my life for 40 years. Such strength. I feel I have no strength and he would want me to be strong. I try to keep moving forward but sometimes feel stuck. I was always even keeled but now experience such unusual highs and lows.
Even negativity so unlike me! I guess I just have to accept this as part of grieving process and try to keep moving forward. Glad I happened onto this website where I can share such deep feelings that I used to share with the love of my life. I feel for all of you so much. I keep begging Stephen to come back,I scream at him. Opened the door and he had passed during the night of a pulmonary embolism.
I did the grief therapy, grief counseling, etc. People who have not been through the sudden death of a spouse have no idea. That magic one year mark does not cure your hurt. I have trips planned, do volunteer work, try to be active in my church, but I realize the hole in my heart will never heal.
I could care less. One day at a time. This ache in my heart is unbearable I just want to wake up and feel normal not this horrendous heart ache! The thought of living yrs without them is so very hard. It is 13 months and 20 days since my soul mate died.. I have two dogs so I hide away.. I work full time so am OK in work but I am so lonely without him.. I have no close friends outside of work.. I make an effort to go out and socialize but am surrounded by couples.. I lost the love of my life 13 months ago, suddenly of lung fibrosis. We were married 47 years and he was my best friend. The one I turned too for deep discussions, uplifting when I was upset over something and just encouragement when needed.
I got through the first year because of being the only one that could handle all of the problems and stuff that takes place after the bread winner passes suddenly. Thank God for His presents in my life along with my Two Dogs that my husband loved so much. They have kept me going. I have recently started a new job and have found that at my age, it is so much more of a challenge than it was just 10 years ago. I do not socialize, even at church. I just come home and enjoy the dogs and just survive the day. Now that I am starting the second year, I am finding it is much harder to be that strong person that everyone thinks I am.
I hate crying and find myself doing it more and more lately. The holidays are going to be a struggle this year I am finding out. I know how you feel. I will be praying for both of us. God Bless. I also lost my husband to pulmonary fibrosis although he also developed two tumours on his lung. Pricing policy About our prices. We're committed to providing low prices every day, on everything.
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The Journey of Grieving:Will It Ever End?
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